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Ephemera

by Beautiful Moose

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1.
Stay at Home 01:14
Stay at home. I want you here. It's soft and warm, we can disappear. I'll hold you close, though at the present time all my skies are empty boxes. We'll return into all we are.
2.
Rowboat 02:31
We got back to the rowboat, but the oars were gone. We wanted to weep, but the sun was already fallin. Oh! barefooted walkin... Oh! already talkin—“how we would dream a footpath home...” Oh! I'll tell a story. Oh! try not to worry. Shadows on the ground are just light we haven't found. We got back to the rowboat, but the oars were gone. We wanted to weep, but the sun was already fallin. Oh! I'll try to find it. Oh! we look delighted, star streaming skies, in our eyes, in our lives... Oh! I'll tell a story. Oh! you shouldn't worry. Shadows on the ground are just light we haven't found.
3.
Sea of Stars 01:54
4.
I opened up toward the morning rays, their silent hands to wash my frozen days. In a bark of birch, a full array of dancing heads throwing a gold parade. Water flow has thrown me across the ground, I hide away but still I hear the sound. I SAW THE RAIN AND IT MADE ME DRY! I fear a fire through a stormy sky! and though the wind was bright and welcoming, I still chose to stay inside... In the dark we spin a settled song, it's bright and thin and doesn't stay for long. Foot to earth, we move at a steady pace, a flock of light into a quiet place. As you turn I spy your canyon eyes, they're like my own, I slowly realize. Hold on tight and feel the storm. I SAW THE RAIN AND IT MADE ME DRY! I fear a fire that I can't divine! and though I grow and change, I feel so strange, so stagnantly alive... I can see what is beside me, and it's hard to believe.
5.
Unclean 06:43
Let's go down to the gully, we'll kick and scream and have a good time. Mindless decline all the way down the side. Follow our footsteps, you'll be fine. Back in our town we walk a million miles around, streaks of shallow sunset thru the clouds. The skin inside your fist twists, my lights all blew away. I'll burn off with the coming of the day. If I am unclean, then what could damage mean to me? I'll crumble, become nothing, wax serene. My memory floats around and sings a song that hunts you down, it gets stuck inside your head when you're out on the road. Yet I still fear the snow. See how we're breathing, breathing together. Climb inside the heather with me. All that I see is light through the trees, shifting my ecology. See how we're breathing, believe in bad weather. Let it roar and let it relieve. All that I see floats light through the breeze, climb inside the evergreen.
6.
Phosphene 03:42
7.
You're so tired of waiting, cuz waiting's such an ugly thing to do. I'll waste away if I wait my life living in the same shade of blue. You're so tired of facing the fates within your life you cannot change. Lying prone on the bedroom floor, the shadow weaves behind the back of the stage. In the hour of washing, you steam yourself and melt and slip away. The gentle swell of the pure black night seeps serenely thru the drawn shades.
8.
Ritual 02:58
once a year we hang our clothes from the garden fence and watch them blow in the perfumed breeze like little white ghosts we run to the riverbed in sweet hot shade lay our skin to earth the mess we've made seeps out limply we forget our face in purple sunlight we balloon back home pass under pockets lovely air so cold the smell of blankets is a hand to hold
9.
Mirror Song 03:05
Every day I feel so crowded! The faces around me slide off my windows like rain. Every day I am surrounded—I hear your voice. Every day a misadventure. My body falters, a warm imperfect machine. Every day I take my picture...and what I see, it isn't me. I say, “YOU DON'T SEE YOURSELF WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!” I've been trying too hard, yet it doesn't get nearer... I don't think that I can face you, your body before me shining so bright like a dream. I want to be less sentimental, but...I fear your voice. I think of hiding out in silence, in perfect echoes, my heartache keeping the beat. Like a lost and lonesome spirit I possess myself. I call for help, and say, “YOU DON'T SEE YOURSELF WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!” As the days go by, it just doesn't seem clearer...
10.
immaterial in your passenger seat looking far away where the ravens meet swirling in the heavens on your left side is a double yellow line in your right hand you hold this left of mine softly in the silence coldly we roll along wondering where this road leads let's sing that old song again... the smell of orange rinds on yr fingers wafts thru the February air, still reminds me of you frozen in the sunlight and I will watch yr breath as it clouds in the air we took a few wrong turns but we made our way there simple as the wind blows.
11.
Sitting in your room, eyes cast wide, sparkling morning blue again, my dearest friend. Sails on the sea, white crests glide, slicing thru the gloom again, my plot to tend. When you turn in my direction, I'll feel you gazing, though in stillness and silence I am shaking. I'll enwrap you in such grace that you'll never need to whisper a prayer—baby, I'll be there. Say you need me, do. Wasting all this time while I'm away from you, I'm turning blue. But this bird sings for you, she'll be flying south to make this rendezvous. Will you see me through? These lone floating moments I remember, like the pale low-cast light in late December, uplift me and enchant me as they hum thru the air. Don't have a care, baby. I'll be there.
12.
Sea Said 03:39
I'm on another plane, nothing will be the same. But when I wake, I'll make it all worthwhile. Hibernation feels so strange, comatose and rearranged. But every day I try to find my spring. Hourglass's view, Sea said, “I look different now, don't you?” Anything to keep me right will do, I can only watch it crumble away. Surreal, incredible, how I move toward your pole. These weary boats will never float away. You'll find me underground, nothing lost will go unfound. I'll dig my way and find you there somehow. Hourglass's view, Sea said, “I look different now, don't you?” Even from a different point of view, I can only watch it crumble away.
13.
You don your sweater, prepared for bad weather. I could try to keep you warm awhile, but your heart's breaking. Smokey eyed and silent, chasing after wind in hot regret right before bed... “I could get away...or I could make it for another day.” And you left last night! And you got back home, and the lights were off but you still knew just where to go. And you fell asleep with your sneakers on, and you laughed so loud...the way that things had changed while you were gone. On the beach, or in the garden, solemn screams the fog of loneliness. You leave your heart to harden. In this condition, festering recognition, see for yourself! You've found the hole inside your home! “Is this my final scene? Will all the words I've said make for an elegy?”

about

many old songs i've had lotsa time to chew on, finally let loose into the world. a few new ones too. warm, noisy, hypnotic folkish tunes from outer space delivered straight 2 yr brain folds. headphones recommended.

credits

released November 29, 2019

all songs written by val jeffrey. recorded jun-sep of 2019, mixed throughout october and november 2019. everything sung and performed by val except: westley stert (soundcloud.com/melodypanea) provided additional vocals on “stay at home,” “ritual,” and “winter driving song”; finn and chris levy (justdandy.bandcamp.com) provided additional vocals for “i saw the rain”; and andy hayward played violin on “unclean.” special thanks to westley stert and andy hayward whose encouragement and enthusiasm for this project was a crucial part of its completion. special thanks to all of my friends who have deeply inspired and impressed me with their brilliant talent. and thanks to everyone else whose love and support made this happen. 💜

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Beautiful Moose Arcata, California

noisy colorful tunes about big feelings <3 valerie (they/she)

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